“We should just get married. Not wait,” John blurted out of nowhere.
My response? “Wait. What?”
We had spoken about having a wedding without people present before. I’ve always thought it was insanely romantic! I’m the kind of girl who lives for the scene in the biopic Selena, where she’s riding in the car with the top down celebrating her elopement with her boyfriend.
Our plan was to wait another year or two and invest in our careers instead of a wedding ceremony that only lasted a few hours. We knew that we loved one another deeply, and it was understood that we would always remain a unit. Long story short – we got married a month later by a pastor in a small church. Only his wife, the First Lady, and our videographer were present.
I wanted my look to be simple yet chic, so I chose to wear an off-white dress that stopped a little above my knees. The top was fitted with a two-inch sheer panel around the neck, as well as the base of the flared skirt. For my hair, I envisioned my soft, elegant curls; medium-sized pin curls were the perfect style. I pinned one side of the kinky curls back so my earrings would show. Ya know a girl loves her accessories!
Exactly one year later on the same date, we had a reception so that our family and friends could celebrate our union. The event was elegantly adorned with deep navy and gold décor, and the room was warm with love. I was wearing a beautiful satin floor-length dress with exquisite waves flowing throughout the skirt. For my hair, I chose to wear curls again, but I wanted to switch my look up slightly, so I had my hair professionally wand-curled, and it came out beautifully. I added a beautiful beaded headband around my forehead, and let the ribbons cascade down the back and over my curls. I dubbed the look, “Hippie Princess,” and loved ones constantly complimented my hair and ensemble throughout the night.
A short time after my wedding, I got wand curls again. BUT – this go-round, was not so successful, and it resulted in heat damage. Initially, I thought I got heat damage on the day of the wedding but after I searched my memory, I realized I didn’t lose thickness and my hair didn’t start reacting to twist-outs differently until after I got it wanded the second time. I was really in denial, and didn’t accept that I had heat damage until months after. When my hair was 100% healthy, my twist-outs were full and held definition extremely well but now my twist-outs look limp and my hair struggles to stay moisturized.
It’s my fault. I got a little greedy. It’s important to space out the time between heat applications and be sure not to go over 350 degrees if you have thick, coarse hair. If you have fine, fragile hair you should stay between 290-300 degrees. You will likely scorch and permanently damage your hair beyond this heat setting (keep in mind everyone’s hair is different).
I am currently in hair repair mode. The only way to get rid of heat damage is by growing it out. It’s been a year and 2 months since and my thickness has returned. I deep condition my hair regularly, moisturize using the L.O.C. method and oil my scalp with natural oils for growth. I cut off about 4 inches over the past year in an attempt to rid my mane of damage, but I still have a long way to go. Patience is key.
At my wedding and reception, I wanted to look like myself, feel comfortable and beautiful. I don’t suggest trying a new style for your wedding or pinning your hair up if this is something you normally never do. From my experience, people usually end up hating the look and not feeling their most beautiful on their wedding day. Don’t choose your dress, look or make decisions based on what other people may think is beautiful or correct according to their standards. Choose what suits you and your partner’s style and personal wants. Some people may not agree with the way we decided to get married, but are we concerned?? Nah! I love love and I love my Vanilla Magic (the hubs’ dreaded nickname, haha). We’re just two light beams that united and created an incredibly strong one. I couldn’t tell you the number of years we have been together in total. All I know is, “what has been, still is and will always be.”
CLICK HERE to learn more about Chime Edward’s natural hair journey and the lessons she’s learned!