Renee’s Corner: Why I Was A Better Mom Pre-Covid19

Covid-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives. Our economy and jobs, the way we interact with people, and now even our family unit’s dynamic.

What I realized being quarantined at home with my four children due to Covid-19 is that I somehow let go of the structure and schedule that was keeping our family organized. It was this structure and schedule that I needed as much as my children did.  

When my children were going to school, they had a set schedule and routine that not only kept me sane and organized, but that was also extremely beneficial to my children as well because they knew when it was time to have fun, study and sleep. 

My morning routine consisted of me waking up early around 6:00 am to get myself and my kids ready for the day, i.e. get them dressed, pack their backpacks and make them a hot breakfast while making sure they get to school on time. Now, because my children are at home all day, I unintentionally let go of that morning routine because they have nowhere to go and there is no burning need to get them ready for the day. 

My kids are hanging around much later than usual… And then sleep until just after 8:00 am. You may think that is still early, but keep in mind that I still have little ones who are usually up at 6:30 or 7:00 am. This shift in their routine doesn’t give me enough time in the morning to make them hot breakfast because I like to be in the office by 8:30 am. Since we don’t have a set structure or schedule anymore, I am missing out on all the motherly tasks that I used to do daily. (Is that a blessing?)

I also realized that I have become more lenient with them (and myself). Because there is no pressure for them to be ready at a specific time, I now wake up around 7:00 or 7:30 am which only leaves me enough time to get ready for work. Long gone are those days when I gave them daily baths or combed my daughters’ hair in the morning.

Another family tradition that has changed since quarantine is bedtime stories. Before Covid-19 and the stay at home order, we had an evening routine that started with a family dinner at 6:00 pm and ended at 8:30 pm with a bed time story and cuddles. Now this routine has shifted from 8:30 pm to 9:30 pm, and it’s taking time from what I like to call “my window”, i.e. my alone time. And because I don’t get my alone quiet time in the evening anymore, I am more irritable and tired. With my children sleeping late and taking up my “window” time, my work hours are pushed to later in the evening from 10:00 pm to sometimes 2:00 am. So now I am tired because I am running on 5 hours of sleep to catch up with my work, and I have no desire to cook dinner. Hence, family dinners are less likely to happen during the work week, which cuts back on our family quality time. 

See the cycle? The way I see it now is that their treat is staying up late. It is more fun for them, but unfortunately it also means less quality one-on-one time with them. In all transparency, I do feel less guilty for not giving them enough quality time because they’ve been at home having fun all day, and to them, this feels like summer break has started earlier this year.

At times, it feels like I am stuck in this cycle and that I am the victim of my own demise. As working moms, we try our best to juggle it all but the reality is that we are not perfect and we cannot do it all. And that is okay. I hope this article helps you realize that you are not alone and that everyone is going through the same challenges as you are. We just need to keep trying and do our best.

Xoxo
Renee
@LifeByRenee