3 Life Lessons I Would Tell My Younger Self

Each morning, I watch the CBS Morning Show to keep up with what’s going on in the world and get a few laughs along the way. One of my favorite segments on the show is the Letter to Yourself, where someone writes a letter to their younger self with the advice they wish they could have passed on at the time. It is always a moving experience for me, as I reflect on the advice they are giving to their more youthful version and the advice I wish I could have given myself. So…I decided to try it! Here are 3 important life lessons I would tell my younger self.

1. The Key To Winning Is Showing Up!

The first life lesson I would tell my younger self is… girl you better show up! One of the key aspects of winning is just showing up! The difference between those that do well and those who don’t isn’t because of better skills or talent, but rather because they happen to be in the right place and at the right time. If you don’t show up, you’re never there!

Believe it or not, I’m a natural introvert. If you saw me growing up, I was the girl with the glasses sitting in front of the Atari playing Pac-Man, reading a book in my room, or watching The Cosby Show. Being by myself and doing my own thing is my zen state. 

In high school, I began coming out of my shell, getting involved in as many extracurricular activities as I could (drill team, school newspaper, poetry club, etc.). In undergrad, I pledged the illustrious Delta Sigma Theta which helped expand my network. I was able to do this because I was in environments where I was surrounded by people that looked like me (and some that didn’t), and “networking” was easier to do because you were just hanging with your friends. 

When I first started working, I resisted the need to go out to happy hour after work or attend company parties. My career suffered a bit as a consequence. In business school, when my white friends were out at the bar hanging out, I was at home relaxing. They made connections that they still have today, which turn into business deals or other introductions that benefit them. 

The reality is…when you show up, you are “in the room where it happens”. Where ideas are tossed around, projects are discussed, outside work commitments are made. So, don’t just show up and be seen. You have to learn to engage, have conversations, and step up and offer your services when opportunities arise. 

If only, I had shown up…maybe my path would have been a bit different. 

2. You Will Persevere!

Another important life lesson I would tell my younger self is to keep going and persevere! When things get tough, people get on your nerves (as we all know they will!) and things feel really challenging, put your head down and persevere! When you are in the middle of the storm, it can often feel like there is no way out and it will never end. At times, it can become so overwhelming that you think you will never get through it. 

As adults, we realize that eventually whatever storm we are in will pass, and we find ourselves a better, stronger person because of it. With perseverance, you will work through it and see the light at the end of the tunnel. As a young adult, the decisions that need to be made and the things you are expected to know can be overwhelming! There is so much we have to deal with on a daily basis and I’m no different. Some mornings I wake up and I don’t want to get out of bed because there is so much stuff I have to do.

How do you persevere? Take a breath and take a step. You have to be your own cheerleader because there will be times when it feels like you are drowning and you can find yourself demotivated. In moments like this, I put one foot in front of the other and whisper to myself (or sometimes yell) “you got this!”

3. Define Your Own Success.

More often than not, we allow our friends, parents, and mentors to tell us where the bar is… but we have to set our own bar! Sometimes listening to others can apply a level of pressure that we don’t need or that may not be rooted in what we want. Even as an adult, people try to tell you what success looks like, where you should be and what you should be doing. To the young adults that are still trying to figure things out, make sure that you are the one defining your life!

To the parents who are raising children, let them find their own path. In order to raise an adult, you have to let your kids fail, make mistakes, and experience the ramifications of that mistake. I’m not saying to never help them (it’s okay to put your thumb on a problem in the background here and there) but failure is so powerful and they need it to grow! I read something once that said, “the only difference between a winner and a loser is the winner failed more but didn’t stop trying.” 

I hope you were able to learn something from these life lessons. My goal is to empower you to believe in yourself and your dreams, keep going and never give up until you make it (and friend…you will!).

xoxo
Renee Morris (@lifebyrenee)