So you’ve just entered a new chapter in your life where you’re now navigating life as a single parent. Whether you’ve decided to co-parent or are the only present parent in your kid(s)’ life, I think most can agree that not having a two-parent household isn’t an ideal situation! So, as a divorcee who’s currently the only active parent in my child’s life, I’m here to share some tips to help you navigate through your new journey and let you know that you can certainly do a phenomenal job in raising your child in a single-parent household.
Let go of the guilt!
Mom (and dad) guilt is a real thing! You may find yourself feeling insecure or anxious about your parenting or how you came to become a single parent. At times you may even experience feelings of guilt if you ended the relationship with the other parent, but recognize that you made the best decision you could have made for yourself and most importantly for your child. Whether your decision was for safety reasons, to provide them with a better environment, or to maintain your peace – let go of any guilt you have associated with your current circumstance and take some time to really focus on healing and prioritizing your self-care.
As you start getting comfortable in your new role as a single parent, you may also experience guilt during times when you need to step away from the kiddo(s) to take a moment for yourself to recharge. As a single parent, you can feel the pressure to be around your kids all the time because they don’t have the other parent to lean on for attention. Understand that if you don’t fit “ME TIME” into your routine you may start to get drained and it can take a toll on your mental health, which ultimately will undermine your parenting and possibly trickle down and affect your child in the long run. You can’t expect to pour from an empty cup, so ensure that you prioritize some self-care ever so often and do things that you find enjoyable; whether that’s going for a walk, or reading a book after the kiddo is in bed, doing some yoga, meditating, etc.
It’s okay to ask for help.
As much as our kids think we’re real-life superheroes, even the best superheroes have a team behind them to help them defeat a difficult opponent, i.e. the Avengers. Not comparing our kids to Thanos, but hey, sometimes these kids turn into destructive little monsters! All jokes aside, parenting is hard, so if you have a strong support system like family and friends you can trust, it’s okay for you to ask for help. Whether you ask them to watch the kiddo for an hour so you can do something as simple as head to the grocery store, take that alone time to recharge your mind, get a workout in at the gym, or even a one-hour massage. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and let go of any guilt you may have for squeezing in that alone time because even if you were in an ideal co-parenting situation or a two-parent household, you would be splitting the kid’s time with the other parent and this is no different.
Scheduling is key!
Like with anything in life, time management can be your key to success! I’m sure the majority of us are working parents which already reduces the time we have to focus on other tasks, now add being a single parent in there and the crazy schedule your kids may have with school, extracurricular activities, etc and you can easily get overwhelmed. So scheduling and planning in advance, even with simple tasks, will make your life a whole lot easier. It can be as simple as waking up an extra 30 minutes earlier to get a home workout in or dedicating your Sunday to meal prepping for the week to save you some time during the weekdays. Some of my favorite things to do that really help with my time management is making sure I get all the clothes and lunch ready the night before so that it takes less time to get my daughter and me ready in the morning.
I’ll dedicate a Sunday to giving her a cute protective style using some of our favorite Uncle Funky’s Daughter moisturizing products like Thirsty Curls Leave-In Revitalizer & Supercurl Miracle Moisture Creme. The products do a phenomenal job keeping her hair moisturized and I can spray Thirsty Curls or Midnite Train Leave-In Conditioner to refresh her hair so that her styles last her a week or two. This saves us a tremendous amount of time during the week in having to style her hair for school. I’ll try to drop her off at school well before the bell rings so that not only gives her time to socialize with her classmates but also allows me some time to get in a morning walk before work because of all the extra time I saved getting her ready in the morning thanks to all of the prep work I did prior. Those are some examples of how scheduling can be key in ensuring that you are the best parent you can be while also prioritizing your self-care.
Always remember that you are doing a phenomenal job and your kids are extremely proud and appreciative of all that you do for them! Keep on being amazing!
xoxo
Michelle (@naturallychea)
