For black women, the journey of self-love and self-confidence can be one never-ending, treacherous journey. Everyday encompasses a new hurdle, stigma, or stereotype that is thrown our way. Black women are constantly being belittled, put down, and discarded. No one faces more ridicule than us. So, you might ask, how can we become and remain confident in a world that tells us not to? We stay confident by being true to ourselves, standing up for ourselves, and controlling our own narrative. When you are authentic to yourself, not only will you gain confidence but you will attract things and people who are meant to uplift you and remind you of who you are.
Staying true to yourself means wearing, doing, or being who you want and not giving anyone else the power to tell you it’s wrong. We live in a society that has been telling us our existence is flawed from the beginning of time, and we must choose to no longer accept those messages as our reality. For me personally, I have become and stayed confident by knowing I come from a lineage of beautiful black people. I am the culmination of all my ancestors, so this face and body you see is them. It’s important I practice self-care and self-love in the name of my ancestors who were never able to. I think of the generations of black people who never once thought their skin color was beautiful, or their thick full lips were perfectly pouted or that their curls and naps were the crowns on their heads. I refuse to continue that cycle in this lifetime so I continuously remind myself that I am divine in every way.
When I think of the word confidence, I think of my Grandma Ellen. Not only is she always, and I mean ALWAYS unapologetically herself but she is always unapologetically black as well. That is one thing I am thankful to have learned from her. I am black, will always be black and I refuse to apologize or shy away from my blackness for the comfort and acceptance of others. Black women were created in God’s perfect image. Our bodies were made to create and sustain life. It’s a lot deeper than surface level looks. Your body and your curves are your power! Your curls and black features are one of a kind. Use that to uplift yourself. People of other races get surgery to look like us and that alone should tell you your blackness is extraordinary.
So a few tips to become and remain confident:
- Know your truth. If you KNOW you are beautiful, worthy, deserving, etc., DON’T let anyone tell you otherwise because you know the truth.
- Love you not just for yourself but for your loved ones. When you love yourself, you want others to love themselves too. This allows you to pour confidence into others and others to pour confidence into you.
- Know that your beauty is unique. Yes, there are beautiful people EVERYWHERE and you’re one of them! Change your mindset when you feel feelings of insecurity or jealousy. It’s okay to think someone else is really beautiful but it’s not okay to tell yourself that they are more beautiful than you. Our uniqueness is what makes our beauty. Don’t forget that.
xoxo
Arielle @curlfriendari
