Even though Mother’s Day is behind us, the holiday sparked a moment of reflection for me. Everyone in my family knows that I am very similar to my mother and a lot of what I’ve accomplished is a result of the values she instilled in me. “I get it from my Mama” is real in my house and there are definitely nuggets of knowledge about family, work ethic, and entrepreneurship that I’m passing down to my children. Here are a few that I’d like to share with you…
1. Family Comes First
My mother was born the youngest of seven brothers and sisters in Arkansas. My siblings and I grew up in Little Rock, Arkansas. However, we would often visit my grandmother in a small town about 40 miles from Little Rock called Plumerville. When I say it was the country…it was the COUNTRAY!!! LOL! Plumerville had dirt roads and no street lights, stop lights, or even a stop sign. My great-grandmother’s house had no indoor plumbing, so we would use the bathroom in an outhouse made of wood. Our water came from the well (but was always amazingly cold!). There were chickens and cows just a stone’s throw away from the house. My siblings and I hated going there, but my mom made us go every weekend to see my grandmother, my great-grandmother, and great aunts and uncles. Sometimes we would stay the night, sleeping on a pallet. Other times we just went to check in on everyone. But forcing us to go there instilled in us a sense of family that I cherish today. You take care of your elders and pay them the respect that they are due.
My aunts and cousins lived in Little Rock or North Little Rock, and most of us had little to no money. I remember one cousin’s house had a ton of roaches. Still, I loved going there because we were all in the same age range. It was there that I learned to play spades, dominos, UNO, and every other game! It was with my cousins that I saw my first Jacksons concert with no adult supervision. Good times!
Although my sisters, brother, and cousins are now spread across the country now, this is a lesson I knew I wanted to pass down to my children: your friends will come and go, but you will ALWAYS have a family. They are your true ride or die. My kids will ask to go visit their cousins or spend a weekend at their grandma’s house, and it fills me with warmth because it means they are getting at least some of the experience I had growing up. When they have quarrels with their siblings and try to side with their friends, I remind them to stick together and to never go against the family!
2. Work First, Play Later
I’m sure we can all relate to those Saturday mornings dedicated to cleaning as kids. Growing up, there was no watching tv and playing video games on Saturday mornings until you did your chores. We couldn’t go outside to play or do what we truly wanted to do until chores were complete. I had to clean my entire room, fold clothes, iron my own clothes, sweep and mop the floor. When you’re young it may seem like a drag, but now looking back it taught me a strong work ethic.
My husband and I are working hard to ingrain the same values in our children. Our goal is to raise children who are self-sufficient and independent thinkers. Similar to how I grew up, my kids have days when they are tasked with cleaning before they can enjoy all of the events, activities, and parties happening that day. I don’t make them clean as much as I did, but we instead divide and conquer on a Saturday morning. One kid cleans all the mirrors in the house, another cleans all the toilets, and another cleans all the sinks. Everyone has to clean their room. It doesn’t take as much time as we took growing up, but they are learning to clean!
This summer, I am teaching my oldest how to do laundry, including ironing. Soon, he will head off to college, and I need him to be able to survive and not depend on someone else for the basic necessities of life.
Work first and play later!
3. Defining Your Own Destiny
Ever since I could remember, my mom was a go-getter and an entrepreneur. Even at 70-something, she is on the go, running businesses and pushing me to get tasks done. She did a great job teaching me work ethic, independence, and that I’m in control of my own destiny.
As a kid, my mother owned a couple of liquor stores, a candy store, a game room, and a small restaurant. When I was in elementary school, my mom let me run the candy store, teaching me early on about customer service, inventory replenishment, and other key elements of running a business. In middle school, I was stocking the shelves of the liquor store and ran the cash register on the weekends. My mom taught me so much about the value of hard work, earning your own money, and doing what it takes to make sure you are successful.
I am always looking for ways to show this to my kids every day. My girls are in Girls Scouts, and last year I bought too much inventory of cookies and we had a ton leftover once the cookie sales ended. We didn’t have time to do the cookie sales during the school year because we were running around to all the sports stuff. Summertime came and I still had cases of cookies! So, with my supervision, I tasked my 8-year-old twin girls with going door to door and selling the cookies to our neighbors. I told them they could keep the money they made from the cookie sales (since I’d already paid Girl Scouts for all the cookies.) This really motivated them, and they sold all of the cookies. They used the money to buy themselves HP laptops (the cheap ones). Once they realized they could make their own money, it awakened their entrepreneurial spirit, and next thing you know… they were looking for more things (that I bought LOL) to sell to our neighbors! They were selling candy, chips, beads, you name it! It was hilarious.
The visit with family, chores, and the example that my mom was for me, made a huge impact on my mindset. I’m now teaching my kids the same values and principles my mom taught me. I encourage you to think about the things you were taught when you were younger and decide for yourself what you want to pass down to your kids in order for them to be successful. Or maybe you’d like to pass down some of the things I mentioned above! Just remember that you can give your kids the necessary tools and knowledge they need to control their own destiny.
xoxo
Renee Morris (@lifebyrenee)
2 comments
This was a great intimate, heart warming blog post, I appreciate the look into your childhood and definitely can relate. I’m always thinking about what I want my daughter to take with her into adulthood, and what legacy I want to leave behind. These are very important things to consider when parenting! Thank you
Hello sweet lady. Thank you for sharing. God’s best to you and your family.